


when you're left alone with your memories

by RobinTheSpotlight



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Canon Compliant, Everyone Is Important, Gen, Happy Ending, Internal Thoughts, Minor Angst, Team as Family, character appreciation, set between GOTG2 and infinity war, they all love each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-28 23:30:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18215120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobinTheSpotlight/pseuds/RobinTheSpotlight
Summary: Home had never been a placeThe Guardians reflect on life, the past, and their place in the world. They are all pleasantly surprised.





	when you're left alone with your memories

For Drax, home had never been a place. Home had been people; his mother, father, wife, daughter. He could have been anywhere, and it would have felt the same. Home did not need to be a concrete place, a stationary location, as long as it was something important.

It was the awe in his daughters’ eyes as she watched the pools for hours on end. It was the sound of his mother’s laughter as his father made yet another joke. It was the warmth of his wife’s hand in his as they stood and watched the sky. These experiences were crystallised in his memory, the emotions from the memories still as sharp and strong as they had been at the time. When he had lost the people important to him, that was when he had lost his home.

What he had now was not something he thought could be home. The beings around him had been so… infuriating, when he had first met them. But now? As he sat in the common room of Quill’s crappy spaceship with broken pieces of furniture and uneaten food and what appears to be a bomb under the wobbly table, Drax let out a huff of laughter. This was his home now.

When he thought of comfort, he thought of the ‘game-nights’ and repetitive music. Family made him think of jokes and fights and camaraderie, of trust. Home was his team, his people, his family. What he had once had would always matter to him. He would never forget his wife, his daughter, his love for them. But, as he took a drink and listened to the loud snoring of the beings around him, he knew that he loved this family as well.

-

For Groot, home had been a hive mind, a buzzing cacophony of flora and fauna and noise and thoughts. He was one of many, not an individual, and spent his ages thinking what others thought and doing what others do.

Then his home had been Rocket. He had left his noise for his freedom, for company that was not constant. Home was certainly not a place and was barely even a person. There wasn’t much of a home at all, just mutual friendship for the first moments. Eventually, home became the comforting actions of crime-committing and prison-breaking, which he realised now was probably not the best life.

What he had now was more than home. He was part of many, like he had been since he could remember. However, he was his own being. Despite how easily some of his family appeared to be able to read his mind, there was not ever any overlapping and intruding thoughts from those around him.

For the first time in his long, long life, Groot felt… content with what he had. He had, in the Guardians, found a family, a home, that brought warmth to him like nothing before ever had. The noise of his teammates crashing around the ship, yelling various insults at each other and attempting to sing along to the music, lulled him to sleep in a way the voices of his kind had never been able to do.

-

Rocket hadn’t known much about family. It wasn’t like he was raised with actual relatives or something. His life had not been particularly long, and much of it had been less than desirable. His earliest memories were of bright lights, a clinical smell and deep stabbing pains. Nothing that he could recall reminded him of home.

With Groot, there had been only a small improvement. He could sleep without fear, occasionally. Sometimes he found it in himself to laugh, or smile, or tell a joke. There was something there, some bond that made him wonder what he was missing by being who he was. Of course, their partnership mostly involved stealing things and being arrested, so there wasn’t much uninterrupted time to make any deep bonds of friendship like he occasionally heard others talk about.

He didn’t realise that he had a home until it hit him one day, after yet another argument with Quill, that he had a space that he belonged. There was no point to the argument, like many of them, but insults were thrown. After he stormed off to his workspace when Quill said something particularly cruel, he was greeted by a knock on the door and an apologetic ‘can I come in?’.

Quill apologised, said he’d gone too far. Finished with an invite to the team meal; Drax had been cooking, and he knew Rocket liked it when he made the spicy stew. It was only after the damn good food that he realised he was not angry at Peter, not angry at… anything. He was content, warm from the food and the jokes and Drax’s terrible impression of Quill’s ‘scary space-pirate-captain voice’. This was where he belonged.

-

Mantis had a ‘home’ for as long as she remembered. Her quarters on Ego’s planet were as private as they could be, and she had never had an issue with warmth or cleanliness or comfort. Ego had been good to her, in his own way. Sometimes she wondered what life would have been like for her if he had not been there, but then she would not have what she has now.

Despite her decent enough living space, she had always been rather lonely. Ego was… detached, often, from the world. He would sit for days, making no noise or movement, only returning when he had caught wind of another child he wished to see. It was a quiet life, structured and dull and repetitive, but it was hers and she was grateful for what she had.

Life with the Guardians was very different. There was a sort of organised chaos to everything, from the mess of the ship to the lack of schedule and completely unplanned missions. There was always so much noise, loud arguments and quiet laughter, quiet arguments and loud laughter, jokes and insults flying through the ship without ever spoiling the synchronisation that the whole team seemed to have.

She did not realise that she fit into this family, that she was a member of it, until a mealtime one day when she noticed that she had helped cook the meal and serve it, seamlessly slotting in to place in the kitchen with Drax like it was where she belonged. It made her think about just how often she had done that, slotting in with the team in a way that she had observed and thought impossible. The thought that this was her family, her team, her home, warmed a smile to her face as her mind filled with contentment.

-

For Nebula, the memory of her family and life burning before her is all she can ever think about of her homeworld. She was young, weak, scared and lost. Thanos was not a home, was never a home, ripped her apart piece by piece and tried so hard to make her better, but she never was, never could be.

Gamora was meant to be her family, was meant to be her friend. Her sister. But she hurt her. They hurt each other. There was no home, no family, no trust and no place to go when all she wanted was help or care.

This was why she was so surprised when Gamora kept calling her goddamn ship. She had over 50 missed ship-to-ship messages, all from Quills disgusting mould-pile of a ‘ship’. There may have only been that many because she hadn’t listened to any of them in the over 6 months since she left, but… she wasn’t exactly sure why Gamora would have bothered calling her. At least, she assumed it was Gamora. It could have been any of the other members of her sister’s makeshift ‘family’, probably asking her to return their spare ship.

It wasn’t like they were using it.

She spent the next several hours listening to all Gamora’s messages. Luckily, they were all from her, except for one video call that she refused to watch the rest of that she suspected might have been sent accidently. She really, really hoped that Quill didn’t normally walk around the ship wearing that few clothes.

After the viewing session, she realised that her home would always be with Gamora. She was her sister and would be there for her. Nebula tried to hide a grin from… someone, but nobody was around, and she stopped trying to hide it. She shuffled around in some of the squeaky drawers and pulled out an empty datastick. It would be a good place to hold the messages. Well, all except one of them.

-

Gamora could remember her mother. She could recall her laughter, her stern care, and how cold she felt when her mother was gone. Their house had been small, but comfortable. There was clutter around, tools and food from her mother’s garden, paper and ink from her father’s office. She thought she could recall an animal, so maybe there had been a pet. A farm animal? Her head hurt when she tried to think back too far, and her heart hurt when she tried to think back for too long.

Thanos had never been a replacement. She hated him, detested everything that he did to her and to her sister. They were young, her and Nebula. Too young. Thanos had taken everything from them, ripped apart their homes and lives. Gamora was unsure if she could even remember what family was.

At the start of her time with the Guardians, she couldn’t wait to leave. They were all so… ignorant, unaware of how much trouble Thanos and his minions put the galaxy in. Unaware of how much had been lost, had been taken by him. But… they had tried. They had nothing to gain, everything to lose, but they fought Ronan and won. Afterwards? They had stayed, and she had stayed as well. The first weeks in the Milano, the air was tense. The team camaraderie that had been formed when they fought against an actual dangerous threat was not gone, exactly. Just… different.

It was only after four missions as the ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ that she had begun to see potential in her teammates. There had been stupid mistakes by most of the members (she stands by what she did), but in the end they had stood by each other’s sides and ran from the planet and its ridiculous laws. The intense chase that followed had included so much teamwork, a strange level of organised chaos and complete mayhem. It reminded her of the battle against Ronan, and when they arrived back in the clutter-filled ship and got away from the planet she laughed. She was shocked at herself, but… the others followed her example. They seemed to be having a good time, as a team.

After the battle with Ego, she thought back on her conversation with Peter. It had not struck her at the time, but… she had called the team family. The more she thought on that, the more she realised it was true. She may not have much to compare to, just a few scattered memories and a feel of loss deep inside, but she was quite certain this was what family was. This was what home felt like. As she took Peter’s hand, watching the stars and listening to the quiet murmurs of their family in the room behind them, she felt content.

-

Peter had a nice childhood. At least, the first years of his life were nice. Although, he didn’t really associate his childhood with Peter-Quill-from-Earth’s childhood. The jarring difference between his first years, his life with his mom and their music, and his Ravager upbringing made it hard for him to think about both as belonging to the real him.

His life with mom had been… amazing, as far as he could recall. He was unsure how much of that was his actual experiences, and how much was built from dreams and music and memories of a laugh and a smile and a ‘my little star-lord’. Sometimes, he couldn’t even see her face when he tried to think of it. It had been too long.

What he did have from his mom was a sense of what family was. He had never, never thought that he was a lonely kid, even without his father. His mom had given him all that she could. When you have a dream, you forget about it in the end; as long as he remembered her, she would be… real.

The Ravagers were not exactly a family, but they were something. They looked after him in a very, very strange way. He learned new things, could pilot a ship, and had people to watch his back. It may not have been what he had previously, but he was not alone.

The Guardians were different. They were so irritating when he first met them, incapable to working as a team and with no shits to give about anyone else. Fighting Ronan changed things, learning to work as a team changed things. The team was better and better, fighting like one large teamworking blob instead of a bunch of assholes trying not to die (although they were like that sometimes as well). There were so many arguments, so many terrible jokes, so many insults to the Milano. It was… friendly.

After the battle with Ego, after they lost Yondu, after they got far, far away from the Sovereign, they could relax. They sat in the common room, quietly talking amongst themselves, having drinks and watching the sky. Gamora grabbed his hand, leaning against his shoulder, humming along to the music. As Peter sat in his home, with his family, he finally realised that he had what he was missing.

-  
-

Kraglin walked towards the common room, trying to find Qui- trying to find the Captain. He had finally finished the checks of the Quadrant, and wanted to know how long the Guardians were going to stay around. Maybe longer than normal? At least until they went and got a newer, smaller ship than the Quadrant…

As he entered the main common room, he stopped. He stopped and held in a laugh.

The ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ were piled on the floor near the viewing window, a lump of snoring, sleeping bodies. Peter and Gamora looked like they were trying to take up the exact same space, almost all parts of their bodies touching, with the rest of the team in a tight pile around them. Kraglin smirked, glad that none of them were awake to threaten him for finding this amusing, and moved back out into the corridor, leaving the sleeping lumps in peace.

He really hoped he would be invited to Peter and Gamora’s wedding.

And that there would be some damned good music.

**Author's Note:**

> My first Marvel fanfiction! I really hope that you enjoyed this, and I would absolutely love it if you left a comment if you did (or if you didn't, any comment can be a useful comment!). I just absolutely adore the Guardians of the Galaxy. They (along with Thor) are my favourite part of the Marvel universe, and I just wanted to write something with little angst compared to normal. Thanks for reading!!  
> \--Robin


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